


once again, from the top

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Team Bonding, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:35:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Hey there, younger-but-equally-hot me. First off, I want to apologize because setting Loki loose with the Tesseract wasn't part of the plan. -- "Tony watches in disbelief as an older looking version of him greets him in the recorded hologram. He's even talking about Loki and Tesseract even though it just happened a couple of hours ago.(Or, Tony leaves a hologram for 2012! Tony and it might just spare this timeline from ending up like how it did in the canon.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 298
Collections: anonymous





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [wonderful series written by Annie D.](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1354444)

There's still a faint throbbing on his chest after the freak incident at the lobby. Tony rubs his chest to soothe it and grabs an ice pack for the bruises on his face. He's skipped medical, sue him or whatever.

Thor's back to Asgard, off to search for Loki and the Tesseract. The Avengers can only wait in vain as the God of Mishchief escapes from their grasp, his whereabouts unknown. Tony has Jarvis hooked up on every satellite trying to get a ping on any extreme or unusual energy levels.

It's frustrating. Everyone's on edge even after they stopped the alien invasion.

"Sir, if I may interrupt." 

Tony waves a hand, "Shoot, Jarvis."

"I have detected an anomaly in the system. A video message addressed to you buried under a complicated series of codes."

 _Huh._ That's unusual. No one really had the means or brains to get past his security system, or Jarvis for that matter.

"Is it a virus? Is it Loki related?"

"No signs of codes bearing malicious intent nor any erratic energy spike. My analysis show it's merely a simple video."

Tony frowns, "Who would go through all that effort to hide it if it's just a simple video, J?"

Jarvis seems hesistant, "Well, sir. It appears that you would."

"I would what, Jarvis?"

"It appears that you would go through all the effort to leave a message for yourself."

Jarvis puts up a hologram, a still shot of a man who seemed like Tony with a small smattering of gray hairs on his temples and beard. Goosebumps break all over his skin at the eerie sight in front of him.

"What. The. Fuck."

***

_"Hey there, younger-but-equally-hot me._ _First off, I want to apologize because setting Loki loose with the Tesseract wasn't part of the plan. -- "_

Tony watches in disbelief as an older looking version of him greets him in the recorded hologram. He's even talking about Loki and Tesseract even though it just happened a couple of hours ago. And... _what plan now?_

_"-- You're probably thinking I'm Loki disguised as an older you. Which I totally am not. Imma prove it to you. One, you didn't quite enjoy the shawarma you had earlier. This first victory meal with the team is super awkward. Two, you checked out Steve's ass in that old corny spandex. It's great, I know. Three, you were hurt by Iron Man-Yes-Tony-Stark-No schmuck from Nat --"_

Tony winces. Yeah, of course that one hurt but he wasn't gonna let them have the satisfaction of seeing him affected by that.

_"Four, you have a scar on you upper left thigh because Howard threw a screwdriver and it hit you. Lastly, uh -- shit, Mom's playing the piano and singing while you were pretending to sleep on the couch the afternoon before they -- before they died."_

Tony's heart clenches. It's always difficult to recall that day even though years has passed. Time dulled the pain but it's still there, lingering. If anything, that bit containing a private memory sealed the deal that this Tony was in fact an older version of him. How the fuck was that possible? Time travel? _Fucking Time Travel?_

_"-- Which sucks by the way. Sorry for mentioning that. There's more to that, a whole bunch more. Brace yourself, Tony."_

_"So here's the thing: the timeline I'm in is fucked. As in worse-than-Obadiah fucked. It's inevitable. This alien dickhead Thanos is headed your way in about five years from your current date. I'm here to warn you-- scratch that, it sounds ominous and I'm gonna try to channel a little bit of Cap's optimism. I'm here to share wisdom or three so you better listen..."_

_..._

_._

_._

The whole thing lasted for about half an hour and by the end of it all, Tony's head feels like it's trampled by another vicious hoard of Chitauri.

Holy shit. 


	2. let's track this from the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some very minor pepperony in this chapter.
> 
> (Since this is an eventual stevetony, and stuckony fic, pepperony will indeed fall apart. Not in an ugly way though, they'll remain close friends.)

_"-- You won't feel it in an instant. It creeps in. It'll just sink in one day: you're not sleeping enough, you're not eating enough. You spend more time building suits rather than building relationships.--"_

_"-- When the nightmares start, talk to someone about it. Talk to Rhodey, talk to Pep, talk to Bruce -- just talk. I know we're made of tough stuff but even concrete cracks. Falling from wormhole left a scar in our psyche. Allow yourself to heal."_

_***_

A month after Chitauris in New York, there was still no sign from Thor. Loki's still at large with the Tesseract. Fury's stress levels are all over the place. Shield's frantic, bustling with all the efforts to locate Reindeer Games.

Tony's finished redesigning the Tower to accommodate the team. So far, Bruce's the only who's moved in, which is great because Rhodey's too busy with his colonel duties and things are somehow dicey with Pepper lately. Especially after Tony inadvertently summoned a suit and had it lunge towards Pep, ready to attack in the middle of the night.

The nightmares, they just kept coming whenever he closed his eyes. The new upgrade chip he created detected distress while he slept and Mark 45 responded by crashing through the bedroom and aiming a replusor blast at Pep.

Pep wasn't talking to him. Not that Tony blames her. She has every right to be upset, especially when Tony's not even spending enough time with her.

"You alright?" Bruce asks. 

Tony flinches, a drop of black coffee spills on the counter.

" _Shit_ , Bruce. You startled me." 

"Sorry." Bruce smiles sheepishly. "You seemed out of it." 

Tony takes a gulp of the bitter liquid and savours the rich taste pouring down his throat. 

"Just some stuff." He replies nonchalantly.

_(When the nightmares start, talk to someone about it.)_

Tony's brows furrow. Oh yeah, that cryptic hologram from another Tony had mentioned that. 

Bruce pours down Fruit Loops on his bowl before splashing it with a decent amount of milk. "Wanna talk about it?" 

Tony hesitates, should he? Bruce is a doctor but not that kind of doctor. He seems willing to listen, probably has nightmares of his own too. He's Hulk so definitely nightmare-fuel. Breathtaking Anger issues too. Maybe it's Bruce who should talk to him.

_(Falling from wormhole left a scar in our psyche.)_

Tony takes a deep breathe and settles on the chair across Bruce. He can do this. The other Tony said tk talk so he'll talk. He takes a large gulp of his coffee before opening his mouth and spilling his demons.

"Let's track this from the beginning."

**

Talking, or rather opening up to Bruce did make him feel better. It didn't stop the nightmares but it did lessen its occurence and the heavy feeling inside his brain. He still gets antsy when New York gets brought up but he's working on it. Bruce shared grounding techniques for Tony to use when his brain gets weird.

Bruce easily becomes a friend. He's someone who can keep up with Tony's science-y rambles. He's pretty chill and has decent cooking skills.

The next month, Nat showed up in the Tower, accompanied by Clint. Tony and Bruce welcome them and they ordered pizzas for dinner. Four out of six avengers ain't so bad. Thor's likely not to arrive until the mess with Loki is cleaned up. But Rogers --

"-- Wait, so Cap chose to stay in an apartment in Brooklyn? I thought he's all up for this gig?" Tony asks Nat.

"What do you expect? You never really invited the guy." Nat replies before shoving the Hawaiian Classic pizza in her mouth.

Tony huffs, "Does he need hand-written notes? 'Dear Mr. Rogers, I cordially invite thee to move in'?"

Clint snorts and rolls his eyes at him. "Give the guy a break. Brooklyn's not bad."

It's not. It's really not but they're a team now. They should at least live in the Tower. There's a freaking giant 'A' instead of 'STARK' and it's embarassing if Tony's the only Avenger here. It's renamed Avengers Tower for a reason.

Bruce weighs in, "I think it's better if Cap moved here too. All that brooding over the past isn't helping him move on."

Nat agrees. So do Tony.

"Yeah, I mean. If there's an emergency, it's easier to contact him when he's in the same building."

The team scattered in different areas makes it harder for Fury to assemble the team. If they were to stay in this Tower, they'd be able to act more efficiently.

Tony looks at Nat. "Does he have a phone, Romanoff?" 

Nat nods, "A standard Shield-issued."

Tony wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Eugh, gimme his number. Once he's here, I'll replace his phone with a Starkphone."

Bruce chuckles beside him. 

"Not fair. Mine's Shield-issued too." Clint complains as he whips out a black, slightly bulky phone. Tony still doesn't trust Shield. Those phones probably have trackers in them, or worse _bugs_. Hill and Fury might be eavesdropping in this instance. 

Uh-uh. No freaking way. 

"Throw that in the bin, Legolas. No one in this Tower should be using a Shield-issued phone. No one."

_(Allow yourself to heal.)_

_**_

That night, they fell asleep on the couch. Empty pizza boxes left on the coffeetable overnight.

Tony had his first dreamless sleep in a while as he snuggles closer to Bruce's arm. 


	3. einstein slept three hours a year

_"-- He'll hack the tv. He'll show up announcing he'll teach America a lesson. My mistake was I took him on by myself. We needed help, and we have it. The team's right there. Just please, --"_

_"Please don't be an idiot like me and challenge him in front of live tv."_

_***_

Steve's arrival at the Tower happened on a chilly afternoon. There wasn't any snow yet but it felt like it would. 

"Glad to see you, Cap." Tony greets as the they enter the private elevator leading to the team's communal floor.

Steve adjusts the duffle bag on his hand then offers a small smile. "Thanks for having me."

"How was Brooklyn?" 

For a moment, there's a flash of grief on Steve's face which he schooled into a neutral expression. "It was okay, I guess. It was home but...almost everything's changed."

"That sucks." Because it does. No other way to put it.

Steve shrugs, "It does, to be honest. The theater Buck and I used to visit is still there. Looked different but it's still showing films."

If Tony freezes at the mention of 'Bucky', Steve doesn't notice. The elevator dings and they get off to their floor. The rest of the team are hanging out in the sofas. Tony had informed Steve beforehand that they were here.

"That's all the stuff you have, Cap?" Nat comments as she gestures to the duffle bag in Steve's hand. It didn't even look full.

"It's all I got." Steve admits. He couldn't possible steal the stuff at the museum. What Steve called his 'good-old shirt and pants', they branded as _memorabilia_. See the conflict?

Clint teases, "You got an entire floor to fill, Cap."

Steve raises a brow and looks at Tony, "Do I?"

Tony waves him off, "Yeah. Figured more private space, the better."

Steve looks awed and hesistant at the same time. He gazes at his surroundings, admiring the view from the glass windows.

A few months ago, he woke up from the ice thinking he's still in the forties. He still does, sometimes. It guts him everytime he dreams of dancing with Peggy only to realize he's asleep and the world as he knew it was gone. The mornings after are _terrible_. 

A hand claps his back, breaking his thoughts. "Make yourself at home, Rogers."

 _Home_. He wonders if he'll ever have one. He's a man out of time and everyday feels like it.

But he's trying.

Steve does his best to smile back, "Thanks, Tony."

**

"-- I am on my way, Pep. I promised I won't be late." 

Tony spots Happy rolling his eyes at him and Tony defensively raises the cheeseburger in his hand. They still have two hours despite stopping over to drive-thru Burger King.

"-- Got it. I read the brief, honey. The blueprints are with me now. Jarvis kept them safe --"

He quietly bites into his food. He has the video off because Pep will likely look at him with unamused expression and insist he ditches the burger for something healthy and not dripping in grease.

" -- Had breakfast. Yep, it's not _just coffee_. A sandwich care of Cap. They're good --"

Tony is in the middle of taking another bite when his gaze catches it. An electronics shop's display of television sets synchronously cuts to a series of disturbing images. Terrorists attacking innocents. Bombs going off. 

People stopped walking to watch. A mother covers her son's eyes as graphic images were flashed on screen.

_(He'll hack the tv. He'll show up announcing he'll teach America a lesson.)_

"-- Something came up. Call you right back, Pep." Tony ends the call. His insides feel ice-cold. If the other Tony was right, this incident will kick-start chaos and he's not ready to give up the semblance of peace they have right now. Not when the nightmares are easing, not when the team's finally starting to get on the same page.

"Boss?" He hears Happy but he waves him off.

Tony types in his phone. "Jarvis? You there?" 

"Always, sir." Jarvis replies.

"Show me this footage happening right now."

**

The first thing Tony does is call Rhodey, not the Avengers because duh, Rhodey's military and he's known the guy for decades. Tony barely knows the Avengers. Plus, the team's connected with Shield and knowing Fury, they will intervene. They often do.

\-- It's weird how other Tony failed to mention Shield's interference in this crisis. Was this Mandarin not considered an Avengers-level threat?

"So, what's the deal with this Mandarin? What's going on, Rhodey?" He asks once the call connects.

"Nothing yet. There's bombings that he claimed as his but we're currently verifying it. No traces either on his location, or how they managed to hack every network."

"Is Shield coming in? Any idea if the team's being summoned?"

Rhodey holds back from sighing, "The Pentagon is scared. After what happened in New York... aliens, well. They need to look strong. Stopping the Mandarin is priority, but for them it's not..."

"It's not superhero business. I get it."

But no, Tony doesn't really get it. He assumes Rhodey doesn't too. The Avengers are there, literally stopped an alien invasion, and the government doesn't want them involved? Why not use a solution that's readily available?

_(My mistake was I took him on by myself. We needed help, and we have it. The team's right there.)_

After a short, tense silence, Rhodey changes the subject. "How are you, Tones?"

"I'm fantastic." Tony replies automatically. "The team's not that bad. A bit rowdy at times but I don't mind noise every now and then."

"Not the team, Tony. You. I'm concerned about you. Last time we talked you said you weren't getting enough sleep and Pep's told me about the suits."

Oh. The suits. Tony never really stopped making them but he's getting, uh, decent sleep nowadays so there's that. After Afghanistan, his sleep pattern's never the same. 

"Einstein slept three hours a year. Look at what he did." Tony deflects. 

He hears a resigned sigh from his friend. "You're not Einstein. You're my friend and I care about your dumbass."

"It's great ass though." Tony jokes. "Seriously, Rhodeybear. I'm...better. Bruce taught me these breathing exercises and yoga helps too."

He adds, "The suits, they're a way to pass time. But scout's honor, I am not losing sleep because of them."

"Just...you can talk to me, you know. If there's something on your mind, you can always talk to me."

Tony smiles. Of course, Rhodey does. He always got Tony's back. Stood by Tony's bullshit even after graduating from MIT and joining the Air Force.

"Likewise, Rhodey." Tony sniffs, "Well, there is _something_ I need to talk to about because.... _Really, Iron Patriot?"_

Rhodey groans and Tony laughs at his friend's misery. 

***

Later, as Tony shakes Killian's hand before starting the meeting, he wonders what other Tony meant by ' _please don't be an idiot like me and challenge him in front of live tv'._


End file.
